An aha moment

Funny how these things creep up on you. One thing just sort of leads to another, or maybe not even leads, but you see connections and everything falls into place . . . or at least points in a direction. Wondering where the next solo piece will come from and working on other stuff when I see a photo on Facebook of my cousin from Memphis posed with the mascot of my alma mater (Marshall University). He mentions a place in Kentucky with shared roots . . . which I have never been to. Seems his connection with the place goes a lot deeper than mine as I have never been there. So that gets me thinking about digging a little deeper into that side of things. Then there's jury duty which brings up some stuff I had never even shared with my wife (on the day after an audition for August Osage County which is about a very troubled family)AND then there is A Thousand Acres, which is a phenomenal book which slowly but surely exposes the nerve endings . . . I put the book down yesterday and sat on the porch with my dog (it was my birthday and I took the day off) and my mind was so blown by that book . . . which I haven't even finished yet . . . and the realization that despite all my work with the writing and performing . . . I hadn't really gotten into the deep personal shit . . . I do fold little autobiographical tidbits into everything . . . but to really dig deeply into what I feel and who I am? Hasn't happened . . . yet . . . and the question becomes: do I have balls enough to confront myself in that way in public . . . to be really honest. And if so will that take me to another level or will it end up being a brief detour . . . nothing really horrendous in my family backgroud . . . that I know of . . . but maybe the journey to dig into my shit will be enough . . . worth experimenting a bit to see where it goes. In any event . . . this whole aha moment unfolded slowly and slapped up side the head yesterday afternoon . . . the sign is pointing 'This Way' . . . I guess you go this way.